A few weeks past 2019 and here we are… still talking about 2019. COME ON CHAOS, MOVE ON ALREADY?!

Honestly, I have. I want to get as far away from 2019 as possible, and so far, 2020 is shaping up to be so much better overall. HOORAY! It took me a little bit to get my act together and sit down and write this silly little blog post. I have had the video portion of my 2019 Favorites & Fails shot, edited, and uploaded for over a week but life kinda gotta nuts in between filming that and writing this. /le sigh.

…but before we get into all this mess – HOW WAS YOUR 2019? Favorites? Fails? Random life events? I’d love to hear your Cliff Notes version down in the comments below. A- because I’m a skoosh nosey and B- I like to talk to you guys.

—– SKINCARE —–

Gotta have a good base before you cake your face… or something like that.

As far as skincare went for 2019, I didn’t really stray too far from my path of SLATHER ALL THE MOISTURIZER ON MY FACE BECAUSE IT IS A DRY PRUNE AND REQUIRES MOISTURE. I was able to try a few things via Influenster – but as a whole – I stuck to what I knew… kind of.

The overarching king o’ skincare for me was the DR. JART CICAPAIR TIGER GRASS CREAM. This stuff is a wonder and a half with all its goodness. For the days that I don’t want to mess too much with makeup but need to even out my complexion – I will mix this moisturizer in with my foundation or concealer and get on with my day. For those with sensitive skin, this stuff is AMAZING. I have persnickety skin and the Tiger Grass Cream doesn’t piss my skin off at all. YAY!

With the dawn of a new decade, I’m trying to be better with my under eyes as they can go from slightly tired to looking like I have two black eyes in a hot minute. The DR. DENNIS GROSS HYALURONIC MARINE DEW IT ALL EYE GEL is an absolute mouthful, name-wise, but it is full of hyaluronic acid with just a touch of caffeine to help pep my under eyes up.

Lastly with the “skincare-type-things” was a lucky discovery in the latter half of the year and that was the PEACH & LILY GLASS SKIN REFINING SERUM. Glass skin is all the rage in K and J Beauty scenes… and one day Ulta had it on sale and I was intrigued. It didn’t help that I was on a massive peach kick and was probably craving peaches all the time… I was pleasantly surprised with how it behaved on my skin and gave it bonus points after trying it as a primer. Seriously. If you have it, try it under your foundation as a “primer.” It’s awesome.

In years past, I would make time to have a little self-care moment to mask and relax at least once a week… Last year… eh… not so much. BUT, the masks that I did reach for the most were the FARMACY HONEY POTION MASK which I have gushed about several times before, and OLE HENRIKSEN’S COLD PLUNGE PORE MASK.

The Farmacy Honey Potion mask is a warming hydration mask and it is lovely. The packaging is definitely “quality” and I love the warming sensation it has. NOTE: If you have very, very sensitive skin to “warming” masks – please test this on your forearm before applying it to your face. The only complaint that I have is that I lost the little metal spatula that it came with… my bad.

If you’ve ever wanted to look like a smurf, you should totally try out the Ole Henriksen Cold Plunge Pore Mask. It is very refreshing with its cooling sensations.

Cleansers are important and if you put makeup on your face, you might like these. Essentially these are melting, cleansing balms that you apply over your makeup, buff it in, and then rise it off.

The FARMACY GREEN CLEAN MAKEUP MELTAWAY CLEANSING BALM was my first foray into “cleansing balms.” Being a total fan of their Honey line, I wanted to give this a try. It did a wonderful job. It helped to break apart all of the makeup on my face without cleansing TOO HARD and removing all of my skin’s natural oils – drying my face out further. I really like it and repurchased it before trying my other cleansing balm favorite…

The DRUNK ELEPHANT SLAAI MAKEUP-MELTING BUTTER CLEANSER was a buy solely based on price. It was a little less than the Farmacy cleanser, plus came with this ampule of “Bamboo Booster” exfoliant that you can mix into the butter cleanser to help scrub away stubborn products.

—– MAKEUP —–

Makeup is fun. You can add just a little or a whole lottle. A “no-makeup” makeup or a full face of glam. One of the things that I enjoy about makeup is that I can use it to transform into other folks, creatures, characters, or just mess with Mr. Chaos. Makeup is one of my happy places.

2019 was a year for release after release after release. From Colourpop to ABH – it seemed like every time I picked up my phone to look at social media, there was a new something emerging in the makeup world. I didn’t have the money to drop on the new, pretty, shiny makeup things – and honestly, it was great. Being too worried about bills and making ends meet gave me the opportunity to look objectively at all of the new things coming out. Did I purchase some new things – on rare occasion, yes, but as a whole I did a ton of “shopping my stash” for similar colors and finishes. It was great and I highly recommend resisting the urge to get sucked into the hype and impulse buy ALL THE THINGS just because they’re new.

All about that base… ’bout that base… ’bout that base – no creasing. HAHAHA. Get it?

For primers, the three that I found myself going back and forth between were the MILK MAKEUP HYDRO GRIP PRIMER*, the PEACH & LILY GLASS SKIN REFINING SERUM, and TATCHA’S SILK CANVAS PRIMER. I ran out of one of my older favorites, Smashbox Cosmetics’ Primerizer and just used what other goodies I had in my stash.

The Milk Makeup Hydro Grip Primer takes a bit of getting used to if you’re not familiar with grippy primers. Since it is tacky, the primer does an excellent job at keeping your foundation/concealer in place. BUT this is one of those products where you either love it or you hate it. When I received this product in PR back in April, I’ll admit, I was a bit hesitant. I was worried that my skin wouldn’t like it or it would oxidize all of my foundations. Thankfully, after playing with it for a few weeks I felt completely comfortable with it.

Tatcha’s Silk Canvas Primer is a multi-use product. You can use it as a protectant against pollutants, a balm for your lips, or as a smoothing base for your foundation/concealer. A little bit goes a long way, and OMG, the packaging is beautiful. The picture above just shows my travel size container but I do have a full size that I depot bit by bit into my travel-sized container to help the shelf-life. I will have a FULL review of this product coming in a month or so. Stay tuned.

I’m a sucker for a light-to-medium, dewy foundation. Milk Makeup’s Sunshine Skin Tint is my favorite overall in that category, but the NARS SHEER GLOW FOUNDATION is a very close second. For starters, their shade range is excellent – especially if you’re on the ghostly end of the spectrum – like me. It was the only foundation that I purchased (outside of PR) last year, and I am happy to report that I cashed in some of my points at Ulta to get another one last week. Yay restocks!!! The finish is very much akin to a “second skin.” It doesn’t get overly caky or settle into fine lines. It’s my foundation of choice when I put on my Hogwarts OC Professor – Professor Ingeneon Endas. Yup.

Milk Makeup sent over a few of their brand new foundation sticks just before October. Perfect! Just in time for HALLOWEEN when I need something a bit more full coverage. I’ll give it to the FLEX FOUNDATION STICKS*, they are quite travel friendly and can be easily blended into the skin – no matter the tool you’re using. Also, I must say that since Milk came out with their new moisturizer, the Vegan Milk Moisturizer*, THAT works really well in conjunction with applying the foundation. I haven’t been needing to use a primer with that combo.

Concealer-wise, it should come as no surprise that I adore the Milk Makeup Flex Concealer. It’s been in my yearly favorites two years running and as of this moment – it’s still going strong. I have both purchased this product a few times AND received it in PR because it’s one that I reach for a lot. I like the applicator and the squeezy tube so you can access/deposit ALL of the product in the tube instead of having to literally cut it open or grab a spatula and scrape it out. Why more brands don’t do this – I don’t know.

The other two runner-up concealers are COVER FX’s POWER PLAY CONCEALER and FIRST AID BEAUTY’S HELLO FAB BENDY AVOCADO CONCEALER, both are lovely and are ones that I am trying to use up before they turn. I especially like the Cover FX Power Play for mixing into my Dr. Jart Tiger Grass Creme for a “BB cream” like finish. Plus the nob-like applicator makes it easy to dot on coverage where I need it – oh and there are a lot of shades with varying undertones, which is good.

My favorites for face color – aka blush, bronzer, highlight, etc… weren’t too revolutionary this year. All but one of my favorites was released prior to 2019, and that’s okay. The only NEW standout product for me was the Milk Makeup Flex Highlighter in Lit*, and god, if it ain’t beautiful. Heh.

I rediscovered my love for the PHYSICIANS’ FORMULA BUTTER BRONZER and BUTTER BLUSHES (specifically the blush in Natural Glow and bronzer in Light Bronze). The formula is almost creamy without being too heavy. Both have a light coconut scent and a little goes a long way. Surprisingly, I haven’t even hit pan on them yet. Their packaging is a little cumbersome and the brush that comes with each package is… well… semi-useless.

Cream blush is always a favorite and one day I was messing around with finding shades that would work well with freckles. Enter URBAN DECAY’S LO-FI LIP MOUSSE IN FADE, not technically a “blush” but it works extremely well and has such a pleasant texture. As far as cream products go, it’s a little on the matte side so it can be a little thick to work with – just give it a little rub on the back of your hand to warm the product up and it’s all gravy.

I can’t NOT talk about the BITE BEAUTY MULTISTICKS… specifically BLONDIE and am so bummed that they have discontinued the line for their branding reformulation/relaunch. This is one face color product that I use time and time again, repurchase, and continue to use – except I’m on my last tube now. I’m so bummed. So I’m using it sparingly until I can find another one in the wild. This shade is perfect for a bronzey cheek – like the perfect amount of sunkissed tan for folks with pale skin. I love the Multistick line since their release – and if you want to see a Baby Chaos talking about them – click here.

For freckling, there is only EUROPEAN BODY ART’S ENCORE HAIR & BROW ALCOHOL ACTIVATED MAKEUP, I find myself using the shades Ashes, Clay, and Walnut frequently to achieve those natural-looking freckles. Plus, the pans last forever AND by applying them with a splatter technique helps to achieve the most realistic looking freckles. It’s a little messy at first, but so is life.

Another product that made it into another yearly favorites is my KEVYN AUCOIN PRISMAGIC HIGHLIGHTING PALETTE. It’s only three shades, waaaay to expensive for what it is – but the formulation is creamy and gives the most beautiful translucent flash of color. I love to use it in my inner corner as a pop of highlight… or all over the lid, because reasons.

2019 was the year of me getting hooked on TINY EYESHADOW PALETTES. Heh. If it’s one thing that I have to resist the urge to buy, in the makeup world, it’s eyeshadow palettes. 2019 was all about me seeing a new palette, taking a good hard look at it, and then going through my stash-o-eyeshadows and palettes to see if I have similar colors. Nine times out of ten, I did. Yay!

We would be here all day if I were to explain why I chose these palettes – so I’ve gone ahead and tossed in pictures. 4 of the seven have reviews. If you’d like to check those out – just click on the picture. The Smith & Cult Sombre Shift Daze palette review is coming soon, as is the one for Noctex Cosmetics’ Future Grunge Palette. If you’d like to see one on the Black Moon Cosmetics Orb of Light palette let me know, just know that it is a great, all-matte neutral palette.

Other “eye stuff” favorites are fairly simple, and yet again, all but two are products that have either been in my favorites from years past or are products that have been around for a while.

My go-to brow combo is MILK MAKEUP HYDRO CLEAR BROW GEL and ANASTASIA BEVERLY HILLS’ BROW POWDER DUO IN ASH BROWN. I’ve been fairly lazy with my brows this year and thankfully, given that I have my grandfather’s proclivity towards gnome-like eyebrows, I just maintain their shape, fluff them up with gel, and fill in any places they’re looking a bit sparse with the brow powder.

In my search to find matte black, liquid eyeliners I am happy to say that I have really been loving FENTY BEAUTY’S FLYLINER LONGWEAR LIQUID EYELINER. It’s inky black and while I wish that it had a brush tip applicator instead of a felt tip – it’s still really good.

MILK MAKEUP’S UBAME MASCARA is an old favorite. It’s a mascara for days where I need to get a little bit put together but not go 100% if that makes sense? It’s a mascara that coats my lashes but doesn’t cake them down – a good “natural lash” mascara that accentuates my lashes so that they pop just a bit. Milk’s KUSH Mascara* is decent (and I prefer the waterproof formula* to the standard KUSH mascara) but for everyday wear, I still find my self reaching for this. And this one I have repurchased time and time again… so that says something.

Faux lashes are a staple among most of the beauty community, yet I tend to lean towards a natural lash… except for special occasions or if I feel like adding a false lash would make the eye look come together. 2019 was the year I was going to feel more comfortable applying falsies to myself… and perfect how I’m wearing them. Obviously, I still have times that the corners lift thanks to my curvy inner eye corner, but as a whole, I’m getting better at it. I like the style of the EYLURE x KRAZYRAYRAY FALSE LASHES in KRAZY KLASSY because they flick out at the outer corner and are perfect for giving that cat-eye effect. I found them at Walgreens but haven’t noticed them anywhere else – which is a shame.

Most of my favorite lip products are discontinued with the Bite Beauty rebrand/reformulation. I’m so sorry about that. If you can find these products on clearance, I would totally recommend picking them up. The Amuse Bouche formula is such a comfortable lipstick with a massive shade range, the Lip Pencils are creamy and blendable and the French Press Lip Glosses gave a brilliant glossy finish to the lips without being goopy.

Speaking of lip glosses, two formulations that stuck out for me this year were LIMECRIME’S WET CHERRY LIP GLOSS and SMASHBOX COSMETICS GLOSS ANGELES LIP GLOSSES. Both are extremely comfortable on the lips, lightly scented, and don’t feel like I’ve got goop mouth… which sounds weird – but accurate. If you like colorful or wacky colors – I would recommend going with the Lime Crime Wet Cherry glosses… but if nudes are more your style – stick to the Smashbox Gloss Angeles ones.

Lastly for the lip favorites is the MILK MAKEUP LIPSTICK IN SKILLZ. I received a few of these Lip Colors in PR, but being the sucker for nudes – I purchased Skillz on a whim during one of their sales and it is LOVELY! The formula is not as creamy as the Amuse Bouche lipsticks, but it is comfortable, pigmented, and doesn’t fade too fast. It is my go-to “my lips but better” lipstick.

—– MISC —–

I spent a lot of time on bed rest last year, so having my IPAD PRO and APPLE PENCIL gave me the ability to work from bed, watch shows, illustrate things, and occasionally edit videos. I’ve had both since 2017, but they are still awesome and completely useful. If you have the means, I highly suggest them – especially if you’re an artist.

My aunt gifted us a year’s long subscription for a bi-weekly produce box by Misfits Market. They gather produce that’s… well, misfit… overstock, misshapen, slightly bruised or discolored, etc which helps to cut down on the millions of pounds of food waste that gets tossed in the dump each year. It’s a mystery box (the misfit box is about 10 to 12 pounds in weight) so you never know what you’re going to get each box – but it’s always tasty. Me being the stress-cook that I have had a hell of a cooking excursion last year. This little box helped nudge me out of my comfort zone and got me cooking with different ingredients I wouldn’t normally reach for, like golden beets and sunchokes. Each box has a good mix of fruit and vegetables with staples like potatoes, onions and some form of leafy greens. All of the produce is organic, if that’s a concern to you. They’re not available to all the US just yet – but I think they deliver to 20 states so far and they’re looking to branch out even further. If you’d like to give them a try, I have a referral code that gets you either 25% off your first box – and it helps me get a little off of my box too. Just enter the code COOKWME-WE2QBK

I was a big fan of caffeinated, non-carbonated, beverages last year. My favorite teas were a three-way tie between Tazo’s Awake Breakfast Tea, Tazo’s Vanilla Bean Macaroon tea, and matcha. Coffee-wise, I stuck to either cold brew with either Silk’s Soy Vanilla Creamer or Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Creamer (soooo good). I also dipped my toes in mushroom coffee/adaptogens with FOUR SIGMATIC. I like their lion’s mane and chaga coffee as well as their reishi powder.

MOVIES AND TV: Doctor Who, Good Omens, Captain Marvel, Joe Pera Talks with You, Jojo Rabbit, Bon Appetite’s YouTube channel, What We Do In The Shadows, Midsommar, CAOS, Chernobyl, The Magicians, Absolutely Anything… in no particular order. I have many more, but these are the ones that come to mind.

CONTENT CREATORS WHO ALWAYS AMAZE ME:

• Heather Moorhouse: aka Makeupmouse is amazing. I could friggin watch/listen to her stuff all damn day (and have thanks to YT’s autoplay function). She is a creative genius, hilarious and a genuinely awesome person. You should totally go check out her work: YOUTUBE | INSTAGRAM | PATREON
• Abby Williamson: aka abb3rz07 is so friggin spunky. She is a photographer, too. I like her straight-to-it attitude and anti-haul videos. If you want to help yourself cut down on the beauty community BS and excessive consumerism – check her out: YOUTUBE | INSTAGRAM | PATREON
• JackyOhhh: aka the sweetest, most adorable hooman. She is an amazing artist, insanely creative body painter, who has made me obsessed with watching her doll repaint videos. Also, she lets me hang out with her… haha! Check out her work: YOUTUBE | INSTAGRAM
• Fran Menenes: aka Frannerd. She is an incredible illustrator who creates the cutest pastel illustrations. I started following her adventures in 2010 or so and have been hooked ever since. One of the reasons why I like to watch her videos is because she is not only entertaining, she is open about her work as an artist, brand owner, vlogger, etc. I was inspired to start a podcast newsletter for my Patreon patrons because of hers and how awesome it is. Please take a moment to check out her work: INSTAGRAM | YOUTUBE | PATREON
• Celine Bernaerts: Celine is a BADASS when it comes to makeup. If I’m stuck in a rut, I always find some sort of inspiration from her work. She is a makeup artist, model, and overall BAMF! Her makeup application skills are flawless and whenever she pops up on my feed, I smile. Take a moment to check out her work: INSTAGRAM | YOUTUBE
• Rebecca Shores: Rebecca is so down-to-earth and genuine. She applies makeup with an artist’s perspective – color theory, etc. If you enjoy makeup AND lifestyle content, please check out her work: INSTAGRAM | BLOG

I have more favorites and intend on doing a whole friggin post about who inspires me and all that jazz – so hold tight for that in the next month or two.

I couldn’t not mention JORDANDENE‘s wares! I have been a fan of her comfy clothing since 2016-2017 and every year they make it into my favorites BECAUSE they are both comfy and nerdy. Chances are good that if you see me in the wild, like the random Pokemon that I am, I will be wearing something from JordanDene – either shirts, hoodies, beanies, or pins. Yup. Plus one of the other cool things that happened this year was that Jordan asked me to be a part of the JordanDene ambassador program, the CleverGirls. With that, if you ever want to pick anything up from their website, be sure to use my code “ohjaechaos” at checkout and you’ll save 15% off of any purchase of $20 or more.

Bullet Journaling has been fun and over the course of last year I’ve fine tuned how I track my little universe with it. Not only is it my calendar, but my health tracker, business tracker, chore chart, etc and it’s even a place to doodle in. I’m looking forward to sharing more of it with you guys this year now that I feel “more comfortable” with my bujo powers. Hah.

Saving the best for last, one of the absolute highlights of 2019 was my little Patreon community – or CHAOS COMMUNITY. They are a wonderful bunch of humans and I am constantly grateful for their camaraderie and support. Seriously. I could wax poetic about how much their support means the world to me – and it wouldn’t be enough. Having a Patreon has helped me create better content for the masses as well as helping pay for things like groceries and admin costs on my end. Every little bit helps. They help to pick out exclusive content (cosplays, tutorials, reviews, etc…) and we get to hang out. Ugh. So much love and feels for that group of folks. Now, don’t get me wrong – I love all my friends, supporters, followers, subscribers AND am hella’ thankful for any and all support – it just blows my mind that people think my content is worthy enough to toss a few coins at me.

—– FAILS —–

I didn’t have the means to try all the things, and when I did decide to purchase anything I really did my research into reviews and comparisons… or at least tried my best to do so. But here are a few things that didn’t work:

• The Dr. Dennis Gross DRx Spotlight Acne Treatment Device: I got sucked into the hype and “tech” magic of it all. Basically it’s a red and blue LED light therapy pen that is supposed to help get rid of pesky pimples – QUICKER THAN OTHER TREATMENTS. Maybe it helped 5% but that’s not enough to justify my purchase. And I can’t return it now because it is NOWHERE to be found on Sephora’s website.
• Flower Beauty Warrior Glitter Shadows: I almost forgot about these – but eh. They’re not great. The darker shades are very patchy and while, yes, they are glittery… the glitter falls down terribly.
• Beauty Community Drama: I’m flat out sick of it. Why can’t folks just follow Wheaton’s Law and be awesome to one another without being dicks?
• Social Media Metrics: Yeah yeah, I know. Chaos is bitching about social media again. But it’s true – one of the things that sucked this year is that my IG metrics kept falling and falling no matter what I did. When you’re already depressed and post something that you think is cool – the quickest way to a gutshot is for either the trolls to come out of the woodwork or for you to lose 10s of followers at a time. While I love connecting with folks, social media (as far as platforms on the whole go) are terrible for mental health. Plus they’re addictive, which doesn’t help when part of your “job” is spending hours on them.
• CONTENT CREATOR BURNOUT – the burnout is real. I’m trying to get better about it, especially with being a spoonie AND a content creator. I have so many ideas and want to do all the things – but get overwhelmed and then burnout.

There were a lot of things that happened in January. Our little chaos family had a not-so-great change. I launched a Patreon and was immediately blown away by all the love and support it received. I leveled up to the big 3-0 and smashed my face into a cake for the first time in my entire life. It was a very bumpy start to the year and little did I know that it would be one of the hardest years of my life, at least up until this point.

… looking back, I want to share a little of the good and the bad with you – if you’ll have me.

Spoonie life for me in 2019 was full of flares, rest days, and doctor appointments. Thankfully, our financial status of Mr. Chaos losing his job meant that we were on really good insurance and for the first time since moving to Philly, I was able to get a GP, neurologist, cardiologist, and ob-gyn. Yay for looking on the bright side of a bad situation. Finding specialists is a pain in the butt if you don’t have a GP (primary care physician) and after much back and forth between different hospitals and my insurance company – I FOUND a GP who gives a damn and she is awesome!

On top of spoonie life being fairly obstructive – my mental health took a tumble too. My stupid depression gnargles tried to get the best of me and I ended up having more and more panic attacks due to being under constant stress 24/7. Which is probably why I didn’t really post as much as I had in years past. I went silent on Patreon for a few months, but my Patrons stuck by me and for that – I’m so friggin grateful. Meditation, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBD, breathing exercises, etc… and most importantly recognizing that I’m not okay – AND THAT’S OKAY – followed by reaching out and asking for help. I’m not out of the woods, but I’m on a better path – figuratively speaking.

I am still trying to unlearn being hypercritical of everything I do… but as the wise Bob Wiley says “… baby steps.”

I took Mr. Chaos to NYC not once, but TWICE, for things. Our first trip was to attend the Season 2 premiere of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina … only to be right at the capacity cut-off line. But hey, at least folks liked my cosplay AND after getting the
“you shall not pass” from the event coordinators, I took Mr. Chaos to Times Square for the first time.

The second trek to NYC was for a book event for the amazing YA author – ASHLEY POSTON – who wrote Geekerella, Heart of Iron, Soul of Stars, and The Princess and The Fangirl. The latter was the book that the book event was for. Ashley is awesome and I was introduced to her when Geekerella debuted in 2017 (I think…). During that event, I was FINALLY able to meet the amazing lady behind the brand JordanDene Clothing – IN REAL LIFE! Jordan is such a kickass lady and I can’t believe it’s taken me this many years to finally meet her IRL. I guess it helps to live on the East Coast… but still. I was able to take little “polaroid-esque” photos with both of them and they are up on my little bulletin board of awesome folks that I look at every day (or at least every day I’m sitting at my computer desk or are in my office).

Speaking of Jordan – who is co-editor/host/god of the Sartorial Geek and all things clothing and comfy – EEEEK! I was able to write a second cosplay pictorial for their magazine, The Sartorial Geek. What’s even cooler is that, unbeknownst to me, Jordan and Liz put me on the cover and I found out when they published a sneak peek of their Spring ’19 issue… at 4 am. I squeaked, squealed, and screamed – waking up my whole little chaos household… I still can’t believe it. Oh – and the article was for my version of Sabrina Spellman. There are tons of other awesome articles in there – and all the other articles that appear on Sartorial Geek’s blog and magazine. Please check them out if you like nerdy things.

Speaking of MAKEUP, while I wasn’t able to push or create a TON of looks last year – I did a few. Here are some of my favorites, and if you’re curious about details – they’re usually found in the description of my posts on Instagram.

I also hit “Ctrl+Alt+FckIt” and decided to let my hair grow out during 2019… well after April. I had my hair professionally done for the first time in THREE YEARS back in September. CRAZY, RIGHT?! I still have areas that fall out time to time (from spoonie stuff or immunosuppressants) but right now it’s okay – aside from the TERRIBLE haircut that I received right before NYE. Oh well, hair grows back. I still prefer it short, and to be honest – having no hair was great but I hated buzzing it to keep it even and short. If my hair starts to fall out a lot, again, I’ll probably buzz it off just to keep my peace of mind, but until then I will get to experience daily magnificent BED HEAD!

I JOINED TIKTOK IN JULY… AND IN SEPTEMBER I JOINED THE FANTASTIC HOGWARTS PROFESSOR OC TAG with my eccentric advanced alchemy professor, Professor Ingeneon Endas. I wasn’t able to do a whole lot with the character towards the end of the year – but ENDAS WILL RETURN!

I made lots of things for friends or as props for my cosplays – including a few outfits.

I love to craft things and do DIY projects. I’m working on sewing with confidence and learning to braid and style hair a little better. 2019 gave me a bunch of ideas but very little spoons so those ideas have just been stewing in my brain. I’m hoping to create more this year! Maybe even open my online store back up… I haven’t decided yet.

Celebrated Mr. Chaos turning “life, the universe, and everything” by making him a DeepThought birthday cake. He is my partner in awesome and I can’t believe that 2020 will mean that he’s been putting up with my craziness for TEN WHOLE YEARS! Last year was a major test in patience and support and I am glad to say that Mr. Chaos is one of the most resourceful, brilliant, and strong hoomans in my life. He is also an excellent father to our two adorable dog-children. … and he takes silly pictures with me.

Vala is getting a little older, stiffer, and lumpier, but is still as snuggly as ever. I love her feisty attitude when Charlie oversteps his bounds and her sweet brown eyes. I found a very comfy, fluffy dog bed for her and that bed is her jam! She has also taken quite a liking to wear sweaters – much to Mr. Chaos’ chagrin.

Charlie is my bestest floof. He turned three in October and, personality wise, can be such a mouthy teenager.. but I love him. I taught him how to “say” I love you, hello, and grandma last year. He’s so friggin smart. On top of all his mobility and medical alerting he has picked up more of my mental/emotional cues and will now alert me if he can sense a panic attack coming on. He is my service dog but he is also so much more than that. And, he does a spot on cave troll impersonation at bedtime.

For as shitty as 2019 was, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It showed my little family that we were strong and resilient. That our friends and family continue to be amazing and supportive – especially when life handed us a freighter full of lemons. And that even though it felt like our little world was falling completely apart – we could get through it. 2019 almost broke me, but I learned a lot about myself, my strengths, my weaknesses, and because of all of that – I am a better person.

… just remember to stop and be grateful for the little things.

Congratulations on making it to the bottom of this extremely lengthy and verbose post. I hope that you had a snack and a drink because staying hydrated is important. 🙂 I promise that my next post won’t be as wordy. Thank YOU for being awesome and supporting me!

Now it’s your turn. Tell me how 2019 was for you down in the comments below.

2020 will have MOAR CHAOS in it. So, get ready!