Well, it’s been a while hasn’t it? While I have been a little more active over on the Patreons as far as video content goes I haven’t really been posting on the blog in a bit. But hey, I did my makeup the other day and took pretty pictures of it so why not sit down and chat about life under the pretense of showing you my #motd.
—– a detour in blue #MOTD —–
This look was thrown together to help me feel more like a human (rather than a little, depressed lump of bleh) so I could go out and support one of my family members and their creativity. I received the new-ish Urban Decay On-The-Run Mini Detour palette for my birthday a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t had the spoons to do my makeup recently and therefore haven’t had the opportunity to dive into the palette, until a few days ago.
Now, the Detour palette is basically a warm neutral palette with two blue-teal toned eyeshadows (one that is a duo-chrome dupe for KVD’s Sapphire Highlighter from the Holographic palette and the other which is a metallic dark blue). It reminds me a lot of the UD Beach something palette that came out last year, as far as color scheme goes. Now, don’t get me wrong – warm neutral tones go great with blues and teals… it’s just something that’s not new and innovative. The palette itself is very travel-friendly with a large mirror and decent pan size. For $25 USD, it’s not a bad price point for a prestige brand, 8 color palette.
For the eyes, I applied Milk Makeup’s Flex Concealer as a primer followed up with a little bit of Blur Loose Setting Powder to set the crease and brow bone area. After that I first went in with Escape from the Detour Palette and applied it all over the crease and blended it towards the brow bone area. To darken up the crease I took Confidential and focuse dthat in the crease and along the lower lash line before applying 16th Street with my finger all over the mobile lid area. I wanted to brighten up the inner corner so I applied Switchback with a fluffy brush – and was happily surprised that it was a dupe for my favorite shade in the KVD Holographic Highlighter Palette.
With the eyeshadow applied I took a little bit of UD’s Razor Liner in Demolition (a satin dark brown) and did a small eyeliner, lined my upper and lower lash lines with Milk Makeup’s gel eyeliner pencil in Bonus and applied some Ubame mascara.
Now, I would like to add that I was going to apply Rituel De Fille’s Ash and Ember Eye Soot in Golden Age but was sad to find out that that product does not like to be applied over dry eyeshadow. It pilled up and would not apply to save my life. C’est la vie.
For the face, I kept things natural-looking and focused on covering up my petechiae with Flex Concealer then brought warmth back into my face with Milk’s Lip+Cheek color in Werk… and of course faux freckles by spattering European Body Art’s Encore Hair Color in Ashes with an eyebrow comb/brush. I set my face with a
Since I was rocking some blue hair for the evening I decided to quasi-match my eyebrows to the wig. I took Milk Makeup’s gel eyeliner pencil in BIZ (navy blue) and delicately filled in the sparcer areas of my brows before going in with Plunge from the Detour palette and an angled eyeliner brush and filling in the rest of the brow. Once the shape was defined I was left with a fairly flat looking brow so I lightly dusted my eyebrow hairs with the Switchback to highlight and give a little more definition to the brow.
My lips just needed a bit of lip balm…
By the way, my wig if you’re curious is from Rockstar Wigs in the style Boy Cut Short in Blue Black. I’ve had this wig for several years and while I need to give it some love and restyle it a bit… or at least retrain the part This wig is also part of a Coraline cosplay that I have cooking on the back-burner so I’m sure you will see this wig sometime in the near future.
As a side note, I haven’t been editing my photos as of the last few months. I shoot in RAW format, so I have to adjust them to bring them true to life/color correct, but as far as retouching goes – unless I have a volcano on my face, I don’t mess with anything other than to tone down the redness in my eyes due to Sjogren’s Syndromeor maybe just add a tiny bit of grain… because I love that film grain look.
If I ever retouch or edit a photo, it’s to enhance the overall image I’m trying to go for. My goal is to get as much of the look/feel in camera either through makeup, lighting, props, etc rather than having to go in and adjust it in
/side tangent averted.
… and now for something completely different…
If you have noticed that I really haven’t been as active online for the last few weeks, you’d be correct… I haven’t. There has been a lot of things going on in my private life that aren’t great and are, in fact, quite stressful. Ah, to be an adult.
Congruently, my health – both physically and mentally –
One of the more frustrating aspects of my person Spoonie self is that several of my chronic illnesses like to feed off of one another. And spoonie life has been kicking my butt, bonus round style. For example, I’ll have an SLE flare that will trigger a migraine which will then throw off my normal pain compartmentalization for the Fibromyalgia stuff and that will make my POTS worse and in the end, I’ll just be a big ole ball of literal chaos. … there is a reason why my nom du plume includes the word “chaos.”
I have spent so much time over the last few weeks utterly fatigued and bouncing between my little Hobbit Hole and my bed. It seems no matter what I do, I’m just not regaining spoons like usual and I know part of the reason why (I had to stop a medicine abruptly and going cold turkey on a medication SUUUUUCKS). Also, bless the person who invented the TENS unit and the ice pack. They have been my non-traveling companions for the last few weeks and both are vital for spoonie life.
Something that I wasn’t expecting was how much my mental health would tank during all of this. Fuck, I am having a hard time with my depression and it is aggravating my anxiety/panic episodes. I despise that dreadful feeling of being on the verge of crying or the feeling of having a lump the size of a boulder in your throat FOR NO FRIGGIN REASON – also, panic attacks can suck a bag of moldy, plague-ridden dicks.
Note: I am talking to a therapist as well as doing CBT (which I have a good track record with)… it’s just a lot and I’m tired of the “perfect influencer” persona that so many have. I want to let you know that I’m human and I am dealing with some shit.
I would also like to add that in time, it gets better – and it’s okay not to be okay as long as you are taking steps to mentally mend.
Unfortunately, things that usually bring me out of
I am still struggling but I am fortunate that today was a better day. I got stuff done. I’m writing this silly little blog post. I wrote a more in depth blog post for my Patreon Patrons, and I ran some errands. I’m currently laying down in bed struggling to finish this post but damnit I got stuff done today and that is wonderful.
I will have a new video up for you on Friday. It’s fashion inspired and a DOUBLE MAKEUP TUTORIAL! Also, I’m hoping to have the spoons to go live over on Instagram sometime this week or next week. I’m not entirely sure on the specific date but I will let you all know at least a day in advance so we can hopefully hang out.
Oh, and if you’ve been wanting to know if I have a PO Box – I do and I’m finally comfortable enough to say that I do. If you ever want to drop me a little doodle or postcard via snail mail you can reach me at:
jaeCHAOS
P.O. Box #5296
Yeadon, Pennsylvania 19050
Please keep in mind that you by no means have to ever feel obliged to send me anything. I have had numerous people ask if I had a PO Box over the years and I’m finally comfortable enough to put that address out there.
Speaking of mail, this evening I got an awesome little PR box from Milk Makeup with a few of their newly reformulated lipsticks. I needed to let the heat back up to room temperature as the postal person had them in a cold truck for a while but I am hoping to do some sort of lip swatch video, similar to the one I did for Melt Cosmetics’ Unconventional Nudes Collection. … but more on that later.
If you’ve made it to the end of this post, know that you hold an extra special place in my heart. Thank you for taking the time to read this little rambly post and for being awesome!
Anyways, I hope you have a fantastic rest of your Tuesday afternoon/evening and I will catch you all on the flipside! Thank you again for your awesomeness and patience while I trudge through all of the current muck in my life.
–j.
